


Somnia

by HushTheNoise



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: It's got a happy ending I promise, Jealousy, KH3 spoilers, M/M, Proceed with caution, Sad Isa because that's good stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 08:40:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17864069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HushTheNoise/pseuds/HushTheNoise
Summary: Isa wakes up.The five times Lea was there for it, and the one time he wasn't.





	Somnia

**Author's Note:**

> Hooty hooooo it's been quite a couple of years since I last posted anything, but Lea/Isa stole my heart after KH3 so expect a couple of things for them in the very near future. 
> 
> Catch me on hushthenoise.tumblr.com or @husharts on twitter if you wanna chat! 
> 
> Dedicated to my beloved CatnipSoup, who saw this ship coming ten years ago.
> 
> Note: There are spoilers for Lea and Isa's portion of KH3 in this fic.

He wakes up to the sound of crying, his chest heaving and heart thudding rapidly before he realizes the cries came from him. Isa is ten and the nightmare is fresh in his young mind as he sits up on his plush bed, hand reaching for the lamp beside it and switching it on. Light floods the room, and Isa wipes at his tear-stained face with the back of his wrist.

He’s not like Lea, who still cries over any small thing. He hates crying; it makes his eyes hurt and his skin itch. But it all felt so real.

He lets out a slow breath, trying to ease the tightness in his chest as his heart quiets down. He can still feel the darkness there, threatening to swallow him the way it did his friends and family in the dream.

The dream lingers, vivid and sharp like glass, filling his eyes with tears again. The earth breaking beneath his feet, storm clouds above him carrying things deadlier than rain… His parents dissolving into the wind and Lea... Lea reaching out to him, their fingers barely brushing each other as his friend dissolves, too.

And then the shadows had come for him…

Isa breathes out again, shoulders slumping. He almost wants to call for his mother, see that she’s safe and alright, but his rational mind quiets him. He knows his parents are fine, that his mind is only playing tricks on him. Waking her up for reassurance is selfish when she already looked so tired that night as she tucked him in.

He takes a look around his room, assuring himself that the shadows are where they’re supposed to be: his dreams. The full moon glows outside his window, its cool, comforting glow driving the last of the shadows from the recesses of his mind. He frowns, seeing the window is open and gets up to close it before some errant bird swoops in.

As he reaches the sill, he looks across the small yard to the house next door and sees a shock of red in the window across him. Lea waves, and mouths _‘Are you okay?’_

He must have heard Isa’s crying through the window, though Isa can’t believe he was that noisy. Lea must have still been awake, even at what  Isa knows is a stupidly late hour.

Isa nods and gives him a small smile. _‘Yeah,’_ he mouths back, the vice grip around his chest finally loosening at the sight of his best friend. Lea gives him a thumbs up and vanishes from the window, presumably to go back to reading under the covers.

Isa stands at the window for a moment longer, gazing up at the bright, silvery moon as he breathes in the fresh night air. Finally, he slides the window shut and returns to bed, his hand steady as he turns off the light and falls into a dreamless sleep.

***********

He wakes up to the clatter of books on the ground and a quiet swear, stifling a cough in his chest as he looks at the window to see Lea struggling to pull himself inside as a pile of books lays on the floor around him.

Isa’s fifteen and sick in bed, having already missed a few days of school as he recovers. At first, the peaceful reprieve from daily school life was enjoyable, but as the cold grew worse and he sensed the schoolwork piling up, it got more anxiety-inducing and less fun.

He wasn’t even allowed to see or speak to Lea in person; Lea’s mom wouldn’t let him come over while Isa was sick. Whatever, it wasn’t even that bad, just a couple of days of fever and a sore throat like someone took sandpaper to it. Lea would probably be a big baby about it if he caught it, though.

Still, he was apparently willing to risk it, judging by the fact that he was breaking into his house through Isa’s second-story window.

“What are you doing?” Isa croaks and Lea pauses to make a face at him.

“You sound like hell,” he says, finally swinging his legs over the window sill and landing on the floor with an ungraceful thud, long limbs struggling to stick the landing. “Are you feeling any better, at least?”

“A little. You’re not supposed to be here, you know.”

“Oh, I know,” says Lea brightly, stooping down to gather up the books. “Mom’s made it pretty clear, but I haven’t seen you in daaaaaaays, and school’s been so _boring_ while you’ve been sick.”

Isa shakes his head, warmth blooming in his chest like he’s swallowed sunshine. Lea makes friends as easily as he breathes, but Isa’s somehow always been at the top of his list. He’s sure Lea could be somewhere else right now, playing catch with his other friends at the park or something. But instead here’s here.

A knock at the door. Isa’s mom. “Isa, everything okay?” she asks, probably worried over the sounds of things falling.

“Fine, Mom!” he calls back as Lea hurriedly ducks behind the bed just in case she decides to come into the room. But she just says ‘Okay!’ and leaves, footsteps fading as she walks back downstairs.

Isa’s heart slows again. He knows the trouble they’d get into with his mom would be minimal, but he doesn’t want to stress her out. And Lea’s parents can be stressful.

“I see you brought me a gift,” he says dryly as Lea drops the stack of books and papers unceremoniously on Isa’s bed.

“The gift of not failing your finals,” he says, grinning as he heroically presses his fists against his hips. “Personally, I’m just going to wing it, but I figured you’d want to start in on the mountain of make-up work now.”

Lea’s a liar, of course. His grades are higher than Isa’s, and the last time he failed a test was in the second grade.

“Well… thanks. It’s been pretty boring here, too,” he says, pushing himself to sit up as Lea rounds the bed and drops onto the mattress next to Isa with a _fwump_. “What time do you have to be home?”

Lea stretches out across the bed, forcing Isa to shift to the side to make room as he folds his arms behind his head in a makeshift pillow. “Not for a few hours. I told them I was studying at Squall’s. Anyway, so we have this new reading assignment…”

Isa settles back in, turning on his side to face him as Lea talks about the new story they read in class that day. He feels a wave of comfortable exhaustion settle gently over him as Lea reaches for the book in question and begins to read the story to him. In contrast to his chaotic energy during every other waking moment, Lea’s reading voice is quiet and soothing, lulling Isa into a tempting nap. He makes an effort though, uttering sleepy hums every so often as Lea stops now and then to point out his favorite bits of dialogue or symbolism.

By chapter four, Isa’s asleep again, fingers gently resting on Lea’s arm.

***********

He wakes up to the sound of groans and the smell of smoke. Isa slowly blinks open his eyes, struggling against the searing light as he struggles to remember where he is. Or even _who_ he is. Hazy memories swim through his head; a loud sound, a flash of light, a blur of red across his sight before everything went dark… a sharp pain in his chest…

He can’t seem to pull everything together into a cohesive memory, but even his own name is hard to hold on to. He’s not sure why, but the memory is slippery, like if he doesn’t grip it with all he has, it’ll be lost to him forever. There’s a knowledge that he should be alarmed by this, anxious at what’s happening, and yet… he isn’t. He’s not scared, either. He’s… nothing. He feels _nothing_.

Isa stares at the ceiling for a long moment, fishing for an emotion to feel, but it’s like grappling at moonlight in the darkness. His fingers go right through, with nothing to show for it. He knows the feelings are there, they _should_ be there, he just can’t quite hold them. Worry? He should feel worried. If not for himself, then at least for—

Someone beside him lets out a groan, and Isa turns his head to see a redhead clutching at his chest as if he can feel the same hollow ache that Isa feels. Lea, he knows immediately.

“What the _fuck_ ?” says Lea quietly as he forces himself to sit, glancing around before his eyes lock with Isa’s. Although no less green than before, there’s a shallow flatness to them that Isa can’t remember ever seeing before. And yet Lea looks so much more… alive… than he himself feels right now, and for the first time since he woke up he finally feels something. _Relief_ that Lea is alright. It’s fleeting, and it’s more of an echo of an emotion, but it’s there.

The dullness begins to fade from Lea’s eyes as Isa feels his own mind clear a little, memories flowing back of Lea throwing himself in front of Isa as the machine overheated and exploded. He remembers why they were there to begin with.

“You alright?” asks Lea, and although the concern rings a little hollow, it’s still there in a way that’s somehow comforting. Isa doesn’t understand yet what’s happened, but so long as he and Lea are together, he’s ready to face it head on.

***********

He wakes up to the sound of voices in another room, unsettling and familiar. His head pounds and his chest aches as if the old wound was made fresh again. But how…?

He fought the Keyblade wielder and lost, and Isa remembers how he watched his own essence drift into the ether as he gazed up at Kingdom Hearts for the last time. No one knew what happened to a Nobody when it was destroyed, but something about _this_ doesn’t seem right.

“I grabbed everyone I could manage, you sure that’ll be enough?” asks Xigbar’s voice with that lazy lilt Isa would know anywhere and hoped he’d never hear again. It sounds as if he’s just one room over, the walls thin between them.

Xemnas’ deep voice rolls through the air like quiet thunder, low and menacing. “More than enough,” he answers. “Although we have lost several of the old Organization, the new Organization will thrive and finally achieve its true purpose.”

 _Its true purpose?_ He and Lea-- _Axel --_ were looking into the real purpose of the Organization, back before everything fell apart and Axel left, chasing his new friend.

“And what do we do about the others? I mean, they all reintegrated and became Somebodies again. Isn’t it kind of dangerous to just leave them? With as much as they know about us?” Although his words should be troubling, Xigbar doesn’t sound apprehensive at all.

“They are no real threat without the Organization to guide them,” replies Xemnas levelly. “We have more important matters at hand. Have you finished processing our new members?”

“Yep, every last heart removed. They should all be waking up as freshly-made Nobodies again real soon,” says Xigbar cheerfully, and Isa feels a chill.

So that was it. When they were all defeated, they became people again, Somebodies. Except… except Xigbar must have snatched some of them up before they could awaken and…

Isa shuts his eyes again with a grimace, resting a hand over his chest and knowing before he does that he won’t feel anything there. A Nobody again, cursed to this tepid existence. At the very least Lea is safe, whole and alive again and somewhere far from here.

_Of course he is. He abandons you, leaves you to keep going without him and ends up alive and whole while you stay forgotten. Hypocrite._

The thoughts feel sharp, jagged in a way that should concern him. But it’s all he has, that or emptiness. And at least bitterness is better than feeling nothing at all.

***********

He wakes up to the sound of despair, an outraged cry of “You let them reduce you to _this_?!” Isa struggles to stay upright even as he crumples to his knees. The nightmare is finally passing, and he can feel the darkness recede as memories reawaken, flooding him with emotions he’d thought long gone.

The Keyblade wielders fall back as Lea rushes forward, looking horrified, stricken. Isa can’t help a humorless chuckle. Really? Those tears are for him? After all he’s done, the way he forgot what truly mattered… After he almost became Xehanort’s puppet because of his own foolishness. After he almost killed the person once closest to his heart. How can Lea cry for _him_?

And he can see it now, clear as dawn breaking after a deep, endless night. The way jealousy ate away at him until the darkness could flow into the cracks and grooves it left behind, taking root inside him. He was blind to it as it happened, only knowing that he felt abandoned, lost, _forgotten_ by Lea as he ran after his new friends and cast Isa aside. He knows now that Lea could see it, but he couldn’t recognize it. Couldn’t understand that Isa was falling deeper and deeper into the shadows with each passing day the closer they came to their goal…

But he knows now. They both do. And Lea’s arms are warm and comforting as he holds Isa again. Isa’s not sure if the universe will grant him a third chance, but if it does… he hopes he’ll at least have the memory of Lea smiling gently down at him when he reaches wherever it is souls like his go.

“See you… Lea…” he murmurs, and sleeps.

***********

He wakes up to the sound of peace. The world is quiet as Isa comes to, awareness slowly returning as he begins to remember. First his name, then who he was, and finally all that happened. His breath stutters for a moment as he holds it, hardly daring to believe that he could be so fortunate.

That he could really be… _whole_.

But he can feel a gentle thud in his chest, a flutter that hasn’t been there for quite some time. Gingerly, he lifts his hand, which feels entirely too heavy, and presses a palm over his heart. His _heart_. It’s there, beating steadily.

Finally, he opens his eyes, and the colors almost overwhelm him. Sunlight streams through the window, brightening the pale blue room he finds himself in. He spent so long steeping in darkness that the light feels as if it’s going to burn right through him for a moment. But it passes.

His eyes are still adjusting when he looks down towards the rest of the bed and sees a red blur resting there at his side. He feels a weight against his leg, warm and gently moving every so often. Squinting, he reaches out and touches it, brushing his fingers through soft strands of hair.

The red blur moves and rises with a sleepy hum, and Lea’s face swims into view a few moments later. As Isa blinks, still hesitant to let himself believe he’s really here, that all this is _real_ , Lea’s face breaks into a joyful grin.

The sight makes his heart thump against his ribcage, and Isa could almost cry over how good it feels.

Lea reaches for his hand, fingers curling around Isa’s as he says, “You’re awake!”

And in Isa’s heart, the words finally ring true.


End file.
